Love of my life
by mrs.sodapopcurtis
Summary: Tara's world is falling apart. Her mom commits suicide, & her dad's freaking out about raising a 15 yr old. Find out how 1 greaser will steal her heart, & show her that life is worth living after all. {chapter 6: Back to school}
1. ONE

A/N: Hey ya'll. This story is written out of my boredom, so if it's extremely blah, it's because I'm really really bored. Here we goOoOoOo..  
  
Disclaimer: I own Tara, and as you know, SE Hinton owns The Outsiders.  
  
I raced up my porch, and started knocking on my door violently. I had been chased by a crew of socs, and ran for about a mile or two. I kept on knocking but no one would answer.  
  
"Come on mom; please open the door, please!" I silently begged.  
  
I kept on knocking until the socs drove by without spotting me. I let out a sigh of relief, and wiped my forehead. It was sweaty from all the running I did. I guess you are wondering who these socs are, and why I was running away from them. Well, letme tell you. I'm a kid from the west, poor side of town. And the socials ("socs" for short) are the kids from the east, and rich side of town. They like to jump kids like me for fun. Since they are so rich, they think they have power over us, poor kids. I sighed, just thinking about how unfortunate some of us are, made me feel terrible.  
  
I looked inside from the window; there was no one in sight. This made me wonder if something bad happened. My stomach gave a gurgle and I felt sick. My mom is usually always home, and is always doing something around the house, I doubt she wouldn't hear my knocking, even if she was vacuuming.  
  
I noticed the reflection of myself on the glass. I looked absolutely terrible. I had paint on my face, hair, shirt, capris, and even shoes. Is this what people see? This horrible, ugly freak, with paint all over her face, I thought to myself. If this is what they see, no wonder people look at me in disgust, every time I pass by them, it's either that or the fact that I'm a middle class girl, and that I don't have much money. They probably think I dress the way I do, because we have no money. Actually we are in a pretty good shape, financially. It's just that I want to dress this way. I feel comfortable in the baggy clothes that I wear, and I don't mind it when I've got paint on my face, after art class. My mom always said that I never cared about my looks, and that I was just naturally beautiful, so I didn't need the artificial stuff to make me beautiful.  
  
I shook those thoughts away, why should I start caring now? I was always such a tomboy anyway, I still am. When I was a little kid, I loved to play football with the guys in our neighborhood. I would basically invite myself in their games. But now, I don't play unless one of them invites me to play with them, which is basically never, because I'm not as outgoing as I used to be. Even after I stopped inviting myself into their games, I would go and watch, and sometimes they would invite me to play with them. But I don't even do that anymore. I'm also too caught up in my art. Mama always said that I had that artistic gene from my dad. She thinks my paintings are brilliant, but my teacher doesn't seem to think so.  
  
I shrugged my thoughts away; I had been standing in front of the window, lost in my thoughts for a while now. I took the spare key from under the mat that said "Welcome" and unlocked the door. The house seemed so quite today. I could sense something went wrong. I searched around for mom, but she was nowhere in sight. I looked in every bedroom, the kitchen, even the attic, but she wasn't anywhere to be found. I noticed the bathroom door was locked. I went over and knocked.  
  
"Mama? I'm home. Sorry I was late, I just wanted to stay after for a little bit and paint." [Silence] "Mama?"  
  
I knocked on the door again, causing it to open by itself, and reveal my mom, lying on the floor in a puddle of blood. I gasped and collapsed next to her.  
  
"Mama?" I cried, as I searched for a pulse, a hearth beat, anything. But there was nothing. She was already gone. I cried, and held her cold hands until I could finally let go. I ran to the phone. I was totally covered in my mom's blood. How did this happen, I asked myself. Why me? Why my mom?  
  
I picked up the receiver, but to my luck, there was no dial tone.  
  
"Why can't they fucking pay the bills in time for once?" I screamed, although no one could hear me.  
  
I slammed the receiver down and ran back to the bathroom. I could barely see from all the tears that were spilling from my eyes. I kneeled down next to her cold body. There were two stab wounds on her stomach, and one on her chest. I cried my eyes out, until I realized, that I have to call my dad, or reach him somehow, and paramedics. I got up.  
  
"I'll be back mommy." I said and ran out the door.  
  
I ran until my legs wouldn't carry me any longer; until I collapsed at a football field, probably, a mile or two away from my house. I screamed as loud as I could. Then I sobbed.  
  
"Mama!! Why'd you leave me??" I couldn't hold the tears back. I sat on the ground, pulled my legs up to my chest, and rocked back and forth, and cried. I know I needed to get up soon and tell someone, call someone about what happened, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to believe my mommy was dead.  
  
I finally got up, and ran towards the nearest DX. I was sobbing the whole time. My foot hurt, and I couldn't breathe. I stopped for a while, and gasped for breath. I suddenly heard a loud honking, which made me turn around to see a car, looked like a T-bird, coming right at me. I covered my face, and held my breath.  
  
I opened my eyes to a guy shaking me, and asking me if I was ok. I got panicky.  
  
"Are you ok?" the guy kept on asking.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine." I needed to get to a phone fast.  
  
"What happened to you?" the guy asked, noticing all the blood on me. "Is it yours? Are you bleeding?" Gee, he sounded real worried that he mighta hurt me.  
  
"No, um, I have to get to a phone."  
  
"Ok." He said, and took me to the Dx, just across the street.  
  
"Hey Soda!" he yelled. "I need to use the phone!" Soda?  
  
"What for? You know I'm not-" the other guy that appeared from behind the counter, started to say, but when he saw me, he took the phone from under the counter, and put it in front of me.  
  
As I dialed the paramedics, the guy wearing the DX shirt, pulled the other guy aside to question him.  
  
"What happened to her?" I heard him ask.  
  
"I don't know man, I almost ran her over, and then I noticed all the blood on her."  
  
"Is it hers?" the guy looked me over.  
  
"She said no."  
  
I put the phone down.  
  
"Thank you" I said to the guys, and started to walk out.  
  
"Wait" he guy who almost ran me over, grabbed me by my arm. "Do you need to go somewhere? I can drive you."  
  
"Thanks, but I'd rather walk." I really needed the fresh air.  
  
"I don't think you should, look, I'll just drive you ok?"  
  
"No thank you" I noticed that I was yelling, but the pain I was going through, disabled me from controlling my other emotions. "Sorry, I just want to walk."  
  
"Just tell us what happened, and we'll try to help you." He other guy said, pointing at my bloody shirt.  
  
"No one can help me." I said, and my eyes started to blur again.  
  
"Look, if you wont let me drive you, then I will drive along the side of you as you walk. So why don't you just let me drive you?"  
  
They were just so nice, and I don't know why I was so mean before. "Ok, if you don't mind." I said slowly.  
  
"No, of course I don't mind. Let's go."  
  
"Bye" the other guy said.  
  
I hopped into the t-bird, and described him where I live. When we got there, there were a bunch of paramedic, and police cars there. I hopped out of the car.  
  
"Thank you" I said to the guy, and dreadfully walked up to my house.  
  
The guy got out too. This was none of his business, why won't he just leave??  
  
"What's going on here?" he asked, as the paramedics, brought out a covered body on a stretcher. I started crying again, as they put the body in the ambulance.  
  
"Let me go with." I said to the nearest paramedic's guy.  
  
"Excuse me, who are you?" the guy asked.  
  
"I'm." everything was just so blurry. My hearth started beating faster, and I could barely breathe.  
  
"Miss?" the guy asked, but I could barely hear him.  
  
My head ached, my feet felt as if they were unattached from my body, and my world turned as I fell into darkness.  
  
A/N: ok, so it was bad, but I'm not beating myself about it. I was just bored, and felt like writing a new story, to take a break from my other one, so there. Please review and tell me what you think! 


	2. TWO

A/N: I decided to continue this story even though I didn't get many reviews for the first chapter. I know it was bad, but my little cousin was running around screaming and shouting, and it was really hard to write. But for this chapter, I am home, in my bedroom, in silence, about to write this chapter, so it should be a little better than the last one.  
  
Disclaimer: I own my characters, SE Hinton owns hers.  
  
I woke up to someone gently slapping me on the cheeks, and calling my name. I felt like a truck had run over me. My legs felt so numb, that I couldn't move them an inch and my stomach had this sharp pain, which kept on reminding me that something horrible had happened.  
  
I recognized the face looking down at me. He looked like a tough hood, with blond hair and a beautiful face. Then I remembered everything that had happened. Being chased by the socs, finding my mom dead in the bathroom, almost being run over, the watching the paramedics take my mom away on a stretcher. I winced at those thoughts. I tried to forget about it and just relax, but I couldn't. Although the pain was too much to handle, I thought about why the hell my mom would kill herself. Then suddenly a thought popped into my head, what if she was murdered? I blamed myself for this; I should have come home right away after school. I never should have stayed after to paint, it's my all fault she's dead, it's all my fault. My eyes filled with hot tears, and I felt them fall from eyes into the cement.  
  
I realized that I was lying on the ground. There were people around me, talking all at once; I couldn't understand a word they were saying. I did catch that they were talking about Alice, my mom. My eyes blurred even more when they said that she was murdered, and even possibly raped. Murdered and raped? I couldn't take this any longer. I had to get up and run, that's the only way I could get rid of this pain. It wouldn't go away permanently but it would be gone for a while, and that time would be enough for me to regain myself.  
  
I tried to get up, but fell right back on my poor little butt. Then a hand came down, reaching out for me. I grabbed it and stood up. It was that guy's hand. I held it for a while. He had a hard grip on my hand, but only so I wouldn't fall. I cleared my throat, and let go of his hand.  
  
"Thanks" I said shyly.  
  
"No problem. If you need anything at all, you can just stop by the Curtis'. You know them right?"  
  
I kinda knew Ponyboy Curtis, I saw him at the cafeteria sometimes, but I didn't know the others. I nodded a little bit, but unsurely.  
  
"Okay, well again, if you need anything just stop by." He waved as the walked to his car.  
  
I turned around. The paramedics and the police were leaving. I spotted my dad talking to an officer.  
  
"Daddy?" I yelled. "Daddy?"  
  
He seemed like he couldn't hear me. I went close to him.  
  
"Dad?" I said, tapping him on the shoulder. He turned around.  
  
"Oh, baby." He said and had me in a bear hug. He was crying on my shoulder. That got me started. We both stood there for a while and cried. I felt so bad for him. He lost his wife, and was stuck raising me. But then I felt sorry for myself. I lost my mom, and was stuck living with my father. He wasn't that bad, but he never really approved of my art. He always said I should be studying or playing sports or something instead of painting all the time. But I really liked painting. It relaxed me and took me away from my worries.  
  
He let go.  
  
"So what happened?" I asked. I wanted to know if she was really murdered, or if she killed herself.  
  
"You tell me" Dad said, he was looking at me in a hopeful way, waiting me to tell to him that she really was murdered. My dad always tried so hard to make my mom happy. He wouldn't be able to stand it if she killed herself. I really always though she was happy.  
  
"Um," I gulped. "I stayed after school for a while to paint," his look changed. I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue. "Um, and I, uh, came home, and she was already dead." I almost started to cry again. I tried really hard to keep my tears in.  
  
"Where did you find her?" his voice was trembling.  
  
"In the bathroom." I closed my eyes, and let the tears fall.  
  
"Oh, honey." He pulled me close to him and hugged me. "I must have been terrible." He didn't sound mad at all. I was glad. "I'm sorry." He kept on saying. 'Sorry for what?' I silently asked him. 'You didn't kill her.'  
  
I pulled away. "Daddy? Where are we going to stay tonight?"  
  
"Uh, a hotel I guess."  
  
I nodded.  
  
Daddy talked to the policemen a little bit more, then we got our stuff from the house, and left. I stared out the window as we drove away. I would miss that house. Daddy told me that we would move soon. He said the house held too many memories for both me and him. I had grown up in that house; I took my first steps on that porch. I had first learned how to ride a bike on the drive way of that house!  
  
I couldn't believe my mom was really dead. It was just yesterday we were sitting on the couch, eating cookie dough ice cream, and talking about my first boyfriend ever. We had broken up yesterday and she had listened to me mourn for hours and hours. But those were only the good times that I would remember through out the years. What about the bad times? The times when my mom came home at 11 at night, and we had no idea what or who she was doing. The month my parents lived apart and I didn't see my mom for a while. The year, my mom stopped working, and things got tight for us. And how can I ever forget the year my mom started to cut her self? Those were the misery years, that I will eventually forget, I won't think about them daily, but they will always be in my mind, and I will always remember her for the pain, misery, and the happiness that she gave us. I know it seems impossible, as if a person can give you both misery and happiness. But it's true, we had some golden years, and horrible years in our past. But I will of course remember how my mom used to make me breakfast every morning, and appreciate my art so much! I will miss her. I certainly will.  
  
The hotel wasn't that bad. There were two beds in the room we rented but that night I snuggled with my dad. It was hard for me, the first night since my mom died. I cried through out the night. So did dad. I realized then that whatever mom did those nights she was out late, and whatever the reason she took a month off from her marriage, and went to live with her parents, it didn't matter why, because she always came back. She came back for her daughter, and for her husband. She came back because she loved us. And my dad always took her back, because he loved her too. I feel asleep thinking about that. I dreamt about a girl named Alice, and how she married at an early age, and how her marriage was always rocky, and just when it was finally on track, she was murdered, and her life ended tragically. I woke up in cold sweat.  
  
I got up from bed, where I was hot under all the covers, and decided to take a walk in the park. I slipped on my blue jeans, and kept on my pajama top. I put on my sneakers, and walked out the door, being extra careful with it, so I wouldn't wake dad up. It was a hard night for him too, and he needed his sleep.  
  
I walked around the park, and was about to head back, when I spotted a mustang trailing the park.  
  
'Oh, shit' I thought, as I picked up my pace. But it was useless, and I wasn't about to run, they would chase after me, and possibly run over me. I guess I just had to face them....  
  
NO WAY! Being the scaredy cat that I am, I ducked under the nearest bush, and held my breath. Even though all the effort I gave into being very very quite, they musta already spotted me. I heard car doors slam, and feet pounding on the grass. One of them accidentally tripped over a rock, and fell on the bushes, and stepped on my foot. 'Damn drunken socs!' I thought as I yelped in pain. It was very quite, but enough for them to hear and find me.  
  
"Well well well," one of them said. "It's the girl we were chasing this afternoon. How ya doin baby?"  
  
A/N: I know it wasn't very long, but it's really late, and I'm extremely sleepy. Also I know I said this chapter would be better than the last one, but clearly I haven't reached that goal. So sorry if it's not up to you guy's standards. I will try very hard next time to reach them. I just realized how fast I've written this chapter. Writing all those chapters, (and talking to my friends every once in a while, between breaks ;)) have turned my fingers into such chatter boxes. Aside from it begin very pleasing, it is also very tiring. I must go to bed. Thanks to, Karlei Shaynner, naria4, Amanda, Lucy, Tensleep, Ponyboysgirl1, CH (by the way, what does CH stand for, sry, just curious), and Dallys wife. Also thanx to everyone whom I mighta forgotten. Ok, well enough, I'm really tired.  
  
As always,  
  
Soda's dear wife.  
  
Nite everyone!  
  
Also, sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes. I really do spell check, but my computers kinda messed up, and I might be sleep walking, so forgive me. 


	3. THREE

A/N: hey readers, I am really really pissed at my mother, so I'm sorry if any of my caracters sound pissed also. Dont blame me, blame my mother. And also, somehow, when we renewed my computer, the microsoft word program got messed up so I have to write in this wordpad thingy.   
  
It might look weird, and different from the other chapters, and this one doesnt have spell check so sorry for any grammar mistakes, please bare with me until I get it fixed. k, here we go..  
  
Oh, right...  
  
Thanks to...  
  
Crimson3: you are soooo right. I do write this for myself, and I really dont care how many reviews I get. That is such good advice! Thank you so much! And it is not true that your stories suck, I love Past Memories, which you have to update soon, I'm dying waiting for the new chapter.   
  
Tensleep: Ha, my older sister calls me weird too, I guess I should start calling my little sister that. She's too cute tho, and I'm not as mean as my older sister. You are sooo lucky to have an older brother. Lol, I love cliffhangers too! I'll try to finish this chapter with one just for you.   
  
Naria4: hope you like this chapter, sorry to keep you waiting for so long.   
  
Sareal: Yeah, I love cliffhangers. I might end this chapter with one too. I promise to update faster. Enjoy.   
  
Ok, I think thats it, I am totally lost, and I lost track of the reviews, so thank you for those whom I mighta forgotten.   
  
I sighed. I really didnt feel like fighting. I reached for blade in the back pocket of my jeans. There was nothing. No blade, no nothing. Oh shit! I think I mighta left it in my other jeans. I started to get nervous.   
  
"What do you want?" I shot them one of my 'dont bother me, I'm not in the mood' look.   
  
"Oh, you know, just looking for some fun, how do you feel about a good run?"   
  
I sighed again. It was gonna be a long night....or morning really.   
  
"Or we could do something funner."   
  
I cocked one eyebrow. Terrible toughts past through my mind. "What do you mean?" I asked, almost not wanting to know the answer.  
  
"I think you know what I mean." the soc said.   
  
"No, I think I dont." I tried to sound like a smartass, and keep my cool, but I was scared as hell.   
  
"Then we can show you." he move towards me, as I backed up.   
  
"No, I'd rather if you not." I looked around for anything. A piece of pipe, a chain, a broken pop bottle, but there was nothing.   
  
'Damn these people, they always litter, except when I need them to' I though to myself.   
  
Two of the socs grabbed my arms and held me back. One of them grabbed my long brown hair behind my back. I shrieked as he pulled on it. I think he mighta pulled a handful off. The (I assumed) leader soc, took my thin, narrow glasses off, and crushed them under his foot.   
  
Nausia came over me as he picked them up and showed them to me. Damn, now I couldnt see. Great, fucking great! I suddenly knew what he was about to do to me.   
  
A chill when down my spine as he burried his face into my neck. I winced as he put his hands under my shirt. In a second he ripped open my pajama top and unbuttoned my jeans. I was down to my pink underwear and bra. The worst thing was that the stupid soc's stupid soc gang would be watching the whole time.   
  
Ok, no that wasnt the worst thing, the worst thing was that I was here, and getting raped by a soc. A million thoughts swam in my mind.   
  
What if I get pregnant, what if...oh, god, my 15 years of being a virgin was ending right now. I felt so dirty! I snapped out of my thoughts and realized that maybe...just maybe if I yelled loud enough, someone would hear and come help me.   
  
I went wild, I screamed for someone, anyone. I kicked and cried, but no one came running to rescue me nor did the socs stop the awful thing they were doing to me. I just wanted it to be over. I closed my eyes, and let the tears fall.   
  
When the dirty bastard finished his business, he let me go. He kissed me hard on the lips and thanked me for "the delight" as he put it. I winced at the sound of his voice. I never wanted to see him or any of his friends ever again.   
  
I got up from the ground, and got dressed. I could barely walk. My legs felt unattached from my body. I noticed that I was limping. That dirty son of a....I held myself from blowing up. Cuz when I get upset I cry. And I really didnt want to cry at this point, not to mention in the middle of the road.   
  
I carried myself to the nearest bench and collapsed. I closed my eyes and let the tiredness take over.   
  
*~*~*~*  
  
I must have fallen asleep in the park for quite some time. When I woke up there was light. There were people that were having a walk in the park with their kids, and getting seriously disturbed with the view of a 15 year old mess. I groaned and forced myself to stand up. I got as far as a lot, dragging my left leg, which hurt like a bitch!   
  
I spotted some guys playing football in the lot. They looked around my age, maybe older. One of them turned around to get a look at me. It looked like......he was........Ponyboy Curtis?   
  
*~*~*~*  
  
Sorry to end it here. It's short, but it's the best I can do. I basically forced myself to write this, becuase I want to continue this story, but I just dont know where to go. I could use some ideas, but please dont pile a bunch of them on me. I will try to update faster this time. I've just been really busy with school, friends, and tennis.   
  
I'll probably start writing the next chapter tomorrow, so it should be out on thursday, the latest, I promise!   
  
As always,   
  
TARA   
  
(oh, and some of you know my name as Kate, I mean it is Kate, that's my first name, but lately, I've been going with my middle name, Tara, it just seems more right. So yeah, tara it is.) 


	4. FOUR

A/N: You know I really didn't think of my middle name when I was naming the character in my story. So it is coincidence. Anyways, I know I promised that I would update by Thursday the latest, but omg, I had the worst flu ever. I couldn't speak even. I had a horrible sore throat. So sorry but I was really in no condition to update. I'm not completely better so I had to stay home from school today, and there's absolutely nothing to do so I'm going to try to cough up a story (what a funny phrase). Thanx for understanding ;)  
  
Here's chapter 4!  
  
~Pony's POV~  
  
We were playing football. The teams were me, Darry and Johnny against Dally, Steve, Two-bit and Soda. Even though the teams were uneven, we had Darry and everybody knows that Darry's superman. I reckon he would win against all of us if we played. We were kicking butt. Darry was on a roll.  
  
We stole the ball, and Johnny had it. I was open, so Johnny threw it at me. I caught it and started a dead run towards the goal line with Steve, Two-bit and Soda on my tail. Steve tackled me to the ground just as I reached the line. We scored by an inch. We won! I was jumping up and down with joy, Dally was swearing about how unfair it was since we had Darry in our team, and Two-bit and Soda were tackling each other. I swear those two are the two weirdest people I know.  
  
As I turned around to see where Darry was, I hear a groan coming from near distance. I turned around, a figure....it was a girl. She was looking straight at me. I studied her face. She looked sorta familiar, but she was too far away, I really couldn't tell. I started to walk towards her but before I could take two steps I was tackled to the ground by Two-bit, Soda, Steve and Dally.  
  
"Ahhhhhhh!" I yelled as they all piled on me. "Get off you guys, I can't breathe."  
  
"Aw, Pony, you're strong, you can take it." Darry said, and then he jumped on me too.  
  
I groaned.  
  
"Hey guys?" Johnny said, who hadn't jumped on me.  
  
"What is it Johnnycakes?" Dally said as he got off of me. Thank god, I finally can breathe.  
  
"Who is that?" Johnny pointed towards the girl I saw before.  
  
"I think I know her. She looks hurt." I said as I cleaned the grass off my jeans.  
  
"Let's go see who she is." Darry said.  
  
We walked towards her.  
  
Dally and I gasped at the same time. I wondered if he knew her. She looked horrible. Her face was all scratched up, and there were bruises all over her body. Her clothes were ripped and muddy and there were some blood on her pants.  
  
"Oh my god, what the fuck happened to her?" Dally said. He looked horrified.  
  
It suddenly came to me who she was. She was the girl in my science class. I think her name is Tara.  
  
"I think I know her." I piped up.  
  
"So do I." Dally said.  
  
"Hey Dally, isn't that the girl you brought to the DX yesterday?" Soda asked.  
  
"Yeah, I think so, it's so hard to tell, her face is so messed up."  
  
Johnny knelt down near her. He moved her long brown hair out of her face. Wow, she had beautiful eyes, it was definitely Tara. I used to stare at her from my old spot, during science, before I got moved upfront for not paying attention.  
  
"It's her, it's Tara. I know her." I said. Everyone looked at me, expecting me to tell more about her. "She's in my science class."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I think her name was Tara, the girl yesterday. Her mom died. Poor girl." Dally had, what is that, care? in his eyes. Wow, I couldn't believe it, Dally actually looked worried.  
  
She groaned as Johnny stroked her hair. She had a huge cut on her forehead.  
  
"Do you know where she lives Dally?" Darry asked.  
  
"Yeah but I don't think they live there, I think her mom committed suicide in the house or something." Dally said.  
  
"Wow, that's tough." Johnny said in a quiet voice.  
  
"Yeah" I sighed. "So, shall we take her to the Curtis residence?" I knew we had to take care of her. Poor thing. "I mean we can't just leave her here."  
  
Darry sighed. "I have to work. If you guys think you can handle it, go ahead."  
  
"Well I'm gonna get drunk and hunt for girl with Stevie so it's Johnny, Pony and Soda are the ones who will take care of her." Two-bit said cocking one eyebrow.  
  
"Me too" Dally said quickly. "I mean, I don't got nothing else to do."  
  
I was getting suspicious of Dally. I wondered if he liked her or something. He never really cared about anybody but himself, but here he was telling us that he would help take care of some stranger. Or maybe not so stranger to him?  
  
"All right. Let's go then. Darry, since you're the biggest, you're going to have to be the one carrying her to the house." I said. Darry flexed his muscles meaning no problem.  
  
"No, it's fine, I'll carry her. Darry will have to work tonight, he shouldn't get tired." Dally blurted out.  
  
Ok, now I was really getting suspicious. What the hell was wrong with Dally. Strangely, no one else but me noticed this.  
  
"Fine by me." Darry said but he looked kinda disappointed for not being able to show off his superman abilities.  
  
I would have to find out why Dallas Winston was so interested in this girl, soon.  
  
~Dally's POV~  
  
She felt so light in my arms. I was so horrified at the sight of her. She looked so terrible. Whoever did this to her, is some kind of sick bastard. I cussed out loud. It was probably those damn socs.  
  
I placed her on the couch in the living room, when we reached the Curtis' house. She looked so pale. I got an icepack out of the fridge and put it on her forehead.  
  
"Hey guys, I'm going to the store to get some gauze pads and stuff, alright?" I said.  
  
"Ok Dally." Soda answered.  
  
I looked at her once more and walked out the door.  
  
*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*  
  
Ok, there. I hope you guys liked this chapter. Now please review!  
  
Dally's my hero: Humm..I'll think about it. It's a good suggestion but I don't really want her to get pregnant.  
  
Naria4: It's ok that you don't have any ideas. It's enough that you review. Thanx. Soda and Dally are my faves. So maybe I'll have them fight over her.  
  
Tensleep: Does your brother like just sit around and watch you do stuff on the computer all day or something? If he does, that is really creepy! Omg omg omg, I'm sorry, I'm really random, but I have to tell this to someone like you, cuz sounds like you're kinda random too. I'm having the best THE BEST yogurt ever! It's called la Crème Mousse. I swear to god, it's the best yogurt ever. You have to have it. Ok, sorry I've gone off subject. Anyways, uh, naming the character in the story Tara was really coincidence, seriously! I was still going with Kate at the moment, and I really didn't think about it that way. Its funny when I think about it. Thank you for the idea, but I really didn't want her to get pregnant, but I got reviews from people saying she should, so maybe I will have her get pregnant. Eh, I'll think about it later. lol, thank for reading. 


	5. FIVE

A/N: I don't know why but I just feel like updating, so I'm going to. *I don't care about reviews, I don't care about reviews* ok well I kinda do. Anyways, hmmm, I wonder if any of you actually read these little notes. Copy; paste JOHNNY DEPP LOVES YOU, in to your review if you do. Thank you.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
~Tara's POV~  
  
I opened my eyes to 3 guys looking down at me. I was frightened for a second but I relaxed when I saw Ponyboy's face. I always thought that was such a weird name. He's such a nice person though. Once when I dropped my books in the hallway at school, Ponyboy had helped me pick them up. I didn't recognize the other 2 boys though. One of them had a face to die for. He was so handsome. The other one was a small kid, maybe 14 years old, 15 the most. He had a dark face, and big brown eyes. He was a very quiet kid, I knew, he went to my school. I could tell the handsome one was Ponyboy's brother. They looked alike.  
  
"You're finally awake." The handsome one said.  
  
I just looked at them, bewildered.  
  
"How do you feel?"  
  
I groaned for an answer.  
  
"Where do you hurt?"  
  
"Everywhere." I finally said after a while.  
  
I finally figured out that I was at Ponyboy's house. There were pictures of him and his brothers everywhere. Their house was pretty clean. I bet they hire someone to clean for them. Ha, I musta hit my head for something, they're greasers how could they ever afford something like that. I guess their mom is a pretty good cleaner. I looked around for parents but there were no one around except the three boys.  
  
"What happened to you?" the quiet kid asked.  
  
"Uh..." I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell these strangers about this. But then who else? I mean, my mom is dead, my dad wouldn't even care, and my only friend and I aren't on speaking terms at the moment.  
  
"You can tell us." Ponyboy assured me.  
  
I took a deep breath. "See, my mom died yesterday."  
  
"We know." Handsome cut me off.  
  
"Oh. Well I couldn't sleep last night so I was taking a walk on the park when.I had a.um.run in with a soc group."  
  
"Say no more." A guy with light blond hair came in the door and cut me off.  
  
"Wait Dally I think there's more." The small one said, looking at me.  
  
I nodded.  
  
"One of them raped me. And I couldn't really find my way back to the hotel we are staying at after that."  
  
They all stared at me in horror. I put my head down and started to cry.  
  
"Its okay, you're safe with us." The quiet kid said stroking my hair.  
  
"But I don't even know who you are!" I wailed. It wasn't that big of a deal, I knew they were good people, I just needed to cry about something.  
  
"Oh. Sorry. I'm Johnny. That's Dally." He said pointing to the guy with the blond hair. "And that's Soda and Ponyboy." So the handsome ones name is Soda. Hmm, interesting.  
  
I sniffed. "I'm Tara."  
  
"Nice to meet you Tara." Ponyboy and Soda said at the same time.  
  
"Can I, um, use your bathroom?" I asked, a little shyly.  
  
"Sure, down the hallway, second door on the left." Soda pointed down the hallway.  
  
I got up from the couch and walked down the hall. I passed a bedroom and another bedroom on the way. The first one had a big bed and a desk with some papers on it. The second bedroom had a bigger bed and a big closet. It was much tidier than the first one.  
  
I turned to the second door on the left and locked the door behind me. What with all the guys in the house. I mean not that they would do anything, but somebody could walk in accidentally.  
  
I looked at myself in the mirror.  
  
OH,GOD!  
  
My face, my body was covered in cuts and bruises. My clothes were stained with blood, and mud from the bench I had slept on last night.  
  
I washed my face and dried it with the towel that was on the counter. I fixed my hair and straightened my clothes which were ripped and stained with blood. I looked down at my pants. I seriously was raped. And I would have to do something about it. I mean, what if, I got pregnant with the bastard's child? Ohh, I'm gonna faint. I went back into the living room.  
  
"I got some gauze pads to cover up your arm. Did they pull the blade on you?" Dally asked.  
  
He seems familiar. I thought. Then I remembered. How could I not? He was the guy that almost ran over me yesterday. And then helped me get to a phone and call the police. My clouded again. My mom--  
  
"I don't really remember." I said quietly.  
  
"Its okay." He said.  
  
I winced as he put the alcohol on the cut. It burned. Then he wrapped it. He looked up for a second and met my eyes. He was really beautiful. We locked eyes for a while. It seemed like he wanted to hold my eyes for a second longer, but I dropped my gaze.  
  
"I better go. My dad will be worried."  
  
"Let me give you a ride." He offered.  
  
"It's fine. I like to walk."  
  
"But you're hurt."  
  
"We always end up here don't we?" I asked, slightly laughing.  
  
He laughed too. "And I always end up giving you a ride."  
  
"Oh, all right." I gave in.  
  
"Let's go." He jumped up from the couch, and offered his hand to help me up.  
  
I gladly took it.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I will have to end it here because I still have homework. I just felt like updating. So there. So now review and complain about being the sucky writer that I am. lol, or you can just review about nice things about me.  
  
cn: thank you for telling me. But if you read the summary of the story, it says that the story is about TARA'S life. And I planned it to be mainly in her pov. I try to do other character's pov's. but I'm not very experienced with that so it probably won't be common. You can keep reading if you want.  
  
Dally's my hero: oh I know, maybe I can have her get pregnant but then get an abortion. But where would she find the money? Hmm, must explore more on that idea.  
  
Naria4: thank you for the nice review. Please keep on reading.  
  
Ashley: Look if you don't like the way I write Summer or Pony or anyone else, then don't read. I might be an "ok" (as you put it) writer, but I enjoy doing it. And I will continue to write this story any way I want. After all it is my story and this is the best I can do. Also, I'm only writing this for fun, it's not like I want to become a professional writer or anything. If your next so called review (which I should say are suppose to be nice. I mean If you don't like a story then just don't read, and don't review.) is another flame, then it will be yawned at along with the other ones.  
  
Note: I will not chance my writing for anybody's liking. I try working on correcting the mistakes you guys point out, but every writer has her/his flaws. And without my flaws I wouldn't be me. And god knows I have a lot of those, so if I didn't have them I'd be you don't find flaws in my writing, and always say nice things. But I'm just unidentified. I just thought you guys should know that. I mean, if you like my story, then read, if you don't there are over 600 outsiders fanfics, you can read one of those. I know I'm being crabby and I know many of tired of trying to satisfy some people's wants, and I'm tired of never actually being able to do it. So I'm giving up.  
  
The nice reviews are the cherished ones, the flames are the ones ignored. I salute the nice reviewers. Thank you! 


	6. SIX

A/N: Hi who ever reads this. I got some reviews with the phrase "JOHNNY DEPP LOVES YOU" but I don't think many people read the little note thingies. But that's ok, I don't mind, I'm happy, I got back together with my ex. Ok, must continue on with the sad story even though I'm so happy. Ok here we go...........

Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone. ANYONE. Well I do own Tara. I guess.

The ride home with Dally was kinda awkward. We both didn't say anything for a long time until he broke the silence.

"So...how are you holding up?"

I knew he was talking about my mom.

"I'm okay." I said quietly. I was really kinda messed up but I didn't feel like telling anyone that.

The rest of the ride was quiet. I thanked Dallas, and walked up the steps leading to the hotel door.

My dad stormed out of the building. He bumped into me, for a second not seeing me.

"Oh excuse me" he said without looking at me.

"Dad? It's me." I said.

"What? Oh, Tara, thank god! Where the hell were you? I was worried sick!"

"I was walking around the park, then.....uh, I ran into some friends." It was obvious that I was lying, I didn't have any friends.

"Oh, ok, well you could have told me before you left. You know how dangerous it is to be out alone at night here."

"I know, but you were finally asleep and I didn't want to wake you."

"Well you can wake me up next time ok?"

"Ok dad."

"Are you hungry? Let's go out to breakfast."

"Ok, but let me change first." I said shocked that he hadn't noticed how dirty my clothes were.

I went upstairs; I couldn't believe how messy the room had gotten after one day. I remembered how dad had an anger issue. He never abused me or mom, but he would throw a vase around here and there every once in a while. He couldn't help it. Mom tried to get him to an anger management class, lots of times, but he wouldn't listen. He said he could control it. I noticed the broken chair on the floor. Maybe its harder to control than he thinks it is.

I moved the stuff lying around to the sides, and made my way to my backpack. I took out some clean underwear, a clean bra, a dark blue t-shirt, and jeans that were splattered with paint.

I took a quick shower, and got dressed in my clean clothes.

Dad was waiting for me when I went downstairs.

"There you are. What took you so long." He asked. He probably didn't notice my wet hair.

"I took a quick shower. I'm ready now, let's go."

We walked to the dingo; it was really full when we got there. We had to wait for at least half an hour before we were seated.

"What would you like today?" the whorey looking waitress asked us. She was wearing a tank top, with her bra showing at the top, a really tight mini skirt that was about 5 sizes too small for her, and 4 inch heels.

"Uh, I would like the egg special. What about you?" dad asked looking at me.

My eyes were still focused on the waitress. "Uh, some coffee would be fine."

My dad gave me a weird look. "You've got to eat." He said.

"Uh, yeah I guess toast is fine."

"We don't have toast hunny." The waitress gave me bored look.

"Uh....ok. Then can I have some orange juice."

My dad gave me weird but concerned look.

"What?" I asked.

"Honey, you ordered coffee a while ago." I looked at my dad all funny.

I sighed. "Oh, yeah. Um, just the coffee then."

"Okay." The waitress chewed hard on her gum. I looked at her in a nasty way. How could she possibly wear those shoes, those clothes? Seriously, did she even know that she looked that whorey? I would never dare wear clothes like that!

"So, uh, how are you holding up?" I was dreading that question. I didn't want to hear it, or think about it.

"Can we not do this dad? I'm really not in the mood to talk about it." I said in a low voice.

I tried to get my mind off the subject and think happy thoughts. That failed when I remembered that I would have to go to school on Monday. Maybe I could convince dad that I'm in no mood or condition to go to school for a while. There was roughly a month left of school anyway. Maybe I could just skip it. I've got mostly A's. I can afford to miss a couple of weeks.

"Hey dad?" I asked.

"Yeah?" he stared into my eyes for a while. But it didn't feel like he was really looking at me. It felt like he was looking straight through me.

"Can I skip school? I really don't feel like going. Besides there's only a month left of it and....."

"It's ok honey. I understand if you don't want to go." He cut me off.

I exhaled. I was glad he was gunna let me skip. I nodded.

We ate in silence for a while until some hoods tried to get a fight going with a couple of penguin look-a-like socs.

"You wanna get it on bitch? Let's go right here, right now." One of the greasers yelled.

"I really don't appreciate these young men just coming in here and breaking our peace." Dad mumbled. "They ain't got nothing better to do except to fight. Why not get an education, learn something. But no, these good for nothing hoods will never be worthy enough for anything, if they keep up that attitude."

I stared in my cup of coffee. I had already burned my tongue three times, so I was waiting for it to cool until I took another sip.

"You know dad, most of them do go to school. It's just their rep you know, is what keeps them in trouble. They have to be tough and cool, but that doesn't mean they aren't worthy of anything." I said quietly.

"Huh?" was my dad's reply. He wasn't paying attention. He never did. I didn't feel like repeating myself every time I spoke up.

"Never mind."

After our not so quiet breakfast at the dingo, we returned to the hotel.

I took out my journal that my mom had given me two years ago for my birthday. I had never written anything in it. I decided maybe it was time I started to.

_Dear Diary,_

_I dunno what it is that irritates me so much about dad. He's just so, uncaring. He never listens to me, and never approves of the things I do. It's not like they're bad things. Because I've never really done anything bad. I have always been a good girl. Now that mommy's gone, life will be hard with daddy. For all I know, he might start hitting me, or abusing me. I'm not saying that he scares me, but he has this anger thing, that he can't control, and sometimes it gets out of hand. He's come really close to hitting me before but mom always stood in the way, and he would just break something instead. But now that she's dead, there's nothing stopping him from hitting me. I just hope that's all he does. I don't really know how to spend my time in this cubicle of a hotel room. I am so bored. Dad has forbidden me to go outside without him, even though sometimes I really feel like escaping from him and just being on my own. We had a talk just a while ago. He told me that I am never allowed to hang out with the kind of hoods that were at the dingo today. Hard to the core, greasers. Well who am I suppose to hang out with then? I have got nothing to do. Maybe I will run into Ponyboy and his brothers again. They were oh so nice to me. Anyways, I think dad's back from the store. I better go help him carry the bags inside. _

_Tara_

I closed the journal, put it in my backpack, and then helped daddy with the bags. Good, I sighed, he had gotten my tampons. It was kinda hard to tell him to buy such a thing at first, but he had nodded, and got them. I took them to my backpack, and put them under my clothes. Then I helped dad with the rest of the groceries.

Well it's been 6 days since we've moved to our new house but it feels more like 15. Even though I can't believe it was only 5 days ago, I was sitting on the couch with my mom, eating cookie dough ice cream, discussing our summer plans; time has passed by so slowly. I almost died of boredom, but I don't even know if that's possible. I hope I don't starve to death. I haven't been hungry at all so I haven't eaten much in the last couple of days. All I did was to sleep and watch tv. Dad hasn't been going to work; he took off some time so we could settle in our new place. I was actually kinda happy that we moved here. We're only a couple blocks away from the Curtis'. Dad arranged for my mom's sister's daughter to come for a visit to improve my mood. According to my dad, we used to get along real good when we were younger. I don't even really remember her. All I remember is that she has blond hair and blue eyes. Just like my mom and her sister. I have got red hair and green eyes, like my dad.

I got up and walked over to my back pack, which now sat in the corner of my bare room, and took out my diary. I hadn't written in it for 5 days now.

_Dear Diary, _

_I am bored as hell. There's nothing to do. I haven't seen Ponyboy or his brothers for over a week. I just can't stop thinking about them. I wonder if they're still wondering whatever in the world happened to me. Daddy's being really annoying. He keeps on asking me how I'm doing, and every time I say I'm fine, when really I'm hurting so bad that I want to punch someone in the face. I can't help it, I miss mom. Anyways, I don't really feel like writing right now. I must obey my father and go do the dishes. _

_Tara_

Al right well it's taken me long enough to write these not so long 5 pages. I'm kinda in a hard place right now. I just needed to get them settled in their new house, and stuff. And in the next chapter, the gang will reappear. ENJOY! oh and please review. ;)

Tara


	7. SEVEN

A/N: Hey everyone, what's up? It's Tara. I know that like it's been ages since I last updated but I've been really busy, and whenever I tired to get into my account to update, it wouldn't let me. Turns out I had the wrong e-mail/password combo, hee hee, I all like pissed that I couldn't remember my password but I was trying the wrong e-mail, lol, yeah I'm kinda slow but whatever, I'm updating NOW so there, if there are still people that want to read this, they will.

Disclaimer: The outsiders characters all belong to S.E. Hinton the rest belong to me.

_Dear Diary,_

_Another two days went by, all I've done was to sit around the house and ignore just about everything that dad told me to do when he went to work. Little things such as taking stuff out of boxes and putting them where they belong instead I sat around and watched tv, sometimes glancing back at the boxes spread out in the living room, sitting there waiting for someone to empty them. I don't care though; dad thinks I'm so emotionally traumatized that I can't do any work. I mean maybe I am, but the other day I decided that I need to tough up. I can't live thinking back about how my life would have been if my mom didn't kill herself. I was looking at a picture of me and my mom on our porch and I realized, we wont be able to take any more pictures like that and realized that I have to stop feeling sorry for myself, so I wiped my tears away and swore not to ever cry over the stupidest things again. I flipped through the channels, there was nothing on. I suddenly decided that I wanted to go back to school. If I was going to change, then I might as well go to school and show it off. Anyways, dad should get home soon. I think we're going out to eat. _

_As always,_

_Tara_

I didn't always like to write in that diary. But sometimes it was just something to tell my thoughts to, talk to, since mom's gone. I got up from the couch, and walked towards the kitchen. I picked up one of the boxes, which contained silverware and dishes, and started to place them on shelves. By the time dad got home, I had gotten more than halfway through all of the boxes. He walked in to the kitchen and his mouth dropped.

"I feel better today" I explained.

He sighed. Then a smile crept to his tight lips. "'atta girl" he said as he rubbed my hair.

"You know dad" I said just as he was about to leave the kitchen. "I think I might go to school tomorrow. I'm kinda bored all day at home."

I was half expecting him to dismiss me by saying "there is absolutely no way you're going after all you've been through" but instead he said something like "well, if you think it'll be better for you to go, then you might want to go to bed early tonight"

"Thanks daddy" I said and went back to cleaning inside the dishwasher. You wouldn't believe how filthy this thing was, this was my third time wiping it but the stains just wouldn't go away.

After three hours, I finally managed to get the dishwasher somewhat clean and get to bed. I walked into the bathroom, and took a long look at my face. It wasn't the same as it was 2 weeks ago. Now I just looked tired, and had bags under my eyes, because most nights I would wake up in the middle of the night screaming bloody murder because of a nightmare, and would never be able to get back to sleep. It's been getting better though, last night I actually got a couple hours of good sleep. I had the dream where that stupid soc raped me, the same one that kept me awake the day before and the day before. I lifted up my shirt just high enough so that I could see my stomach. It hadn't gotten fatter or bigger or anything, so I figured that I wasn't pregnant.

"Tara....dinner"

I jumped at the sound of my father's voice. Dinner. Suddenly I notice how thin my stomach had gotten. I was already really skinny as it is, now it looked like I had no fat on my bones. I looked down at my legs, they were pretty damn skinny too. This worried me, I had to eat more. I decided I would start tomorrow.

"No thanks, I had a big lunch. Goodnight." That was a lie. I hadn't eaten lunch or barely anything for breakfast. I don't think I wanted to not eat. I just wasn't hungry. It scared me how anorexic I looked though. I never liked to stereotype people but what would dad say if he ever noticed. He worked longer and more days now. It seemed like he was occupying himself with work so he wouldn't think or feel. I worried for him too.

Finally I decided to stop worrying and go to bed. I climbed into my bed and pulled the sheets over my body. Tomorrow I'd wake up a new Tara, start a new life. That night I slept like a baby.

I got up at exactly 6:30, school starts at 7:45 so I'd have plenty of time to get ready. I took a shower, and put on clean clothes, jeans, a black kinda lacy shirt that used to belong to my grandmother, and a black hooded sweater. I looked pretty artsy. I decided that today I was finally going to ask the artsy group if I could sit with them at lunch. There's this really cool girl who hangs out with the whole group, her name is Hannah but she calls herself Star. She sometimes talks to me during art, which I have 1st period, and comments on my paintings, and tells me that however Mr. Hubert (our mean old art teacher) criticizes my art work, it just makes it prettier, and better, since Mr. Hubert knows nothing about art what-so-ever.

I got my stuff together, and was ready to storm out of the door, when dad stopped me. He usually goes to work around 8 so I was surprised to see him up so early.

"Don't forget your breakfast" he said quickly. Ah that's why. So he'd finally noticed.

"Oh yeah, thanks dad" I said as I turned back from the door and walked towards the kitchen. I grabbed an apple from the fruit basket, and a bottle of water from the fridge. I gave dad a hug. He gave me a weird look and frowned as he got a full look of me.

"I didn't realize you were growing up so fast" he said tiredly.

"What do you mean?" I asked surprised.

Then I remembered that I had put on some eyeliner and some perfume. I realized how different I must look to him. After all just 2 weeks ago, I was wearing baggy jeans, and baggy shirts, and no make up what so ever and my hair always in braids. I had let my hair down today. I had first realized this morning how shiny and silky and long and pretty my hair is, I had it in braids for so long.

"Oh yeah, don't worry, I'm still your clumsy, artsy, little girl." I gave him a kiss and flew out the door.

I got a weird tingly feeling as I walked down the steps of our new house. I took one bite of the apple and threw it away as I passed by a garbage can.

As I had predicted, everything was the same as I walked into my art classroom. The room smelled of oil paint and pastel, Mr. Hubert was sitting at his desk, legs up on the table eating his usual, a doughnut and coffee, the slackers were sleeping in the back, and Star was working on a painting. After standing in the doorway surveying the room for about 5 minutes, I worked up the courage to sit next to Star and chat with her.

"Hey" I said as I sat in the chair next to her.

She turned around to face me. "Hey, yourself. Where've ya been Tara?"

She knew my name! "Nowhere really, just at home, my mom she uh...killed herself so I decided to take advantage of the situation and stay home" I laughed nervously.

Her hard expression softened. "I'm so sorry Tars."

I nodded in appreciation, then laughed. "What did you just call me?"

"Oh, well I usually call my friends by a nickname" she said. "Hope you don't mind."

My jaw was still a mile to the ground when she gave up on me replying and went back to her painting. I was her friend. I, TARA L BAKER AM HER FRIEND!!! I had dreamed about this day so much, being accepted, being liked, being someone's friend who's friend I wanted to be.

"Uhh..." I managed to say "nice painting"

"Oh come on, you can do much better than that." She said without turning around.

I sighed. "Honestly?" I asked. She nodded. "I think it's striking, eye catching, intense yet dark, illuminating and has a million meanings as to what it is."

Her eyes widened. "Wow...well, what do _you_ think it is?" she asked her dark eyes still wide behind her black framed glasses.

"Well it's hard to say" I began "it's not an object, yet it's not a person. It looks like a feeling or maybe you were drawing into your soul. It seems like you wanted to draw the fact that you're struggling with emotions, that it almost seems like your spirit has two faces." I stopped there after noticing her face expression.

She sighed loudly, enough to wake up one the slackers in the back. "I..."she began "that is deep. How can you get so much out of it?"

"I just explained your feelings. I put in words what you drew."

She laughed. Her laugh was quiet and sneaky like. "I can't even explain what I draw."

This time I laughed. "Because you drew it. I probably wouldn't be able to explain my paintings either. You put too much thought into it in the first place to put it into words later."

She sighed. "Man you remind me so much of Mandy."

I knew who she was talking about. Mandy Johnston. She was their group leader. She was the most intellectual one of the bunch. Probably because everyone else was too stoned all the time to think.

"Yeah" I said. Except for the fact that I'm not a druggie.

Just as I was about to ask if the painting was for a project or not, the bell rang. I moved to my seat which was somewhere in the middle of the class.

Mr. Hubert half heartedly explained that our next project would be to make a sculpture out of soap stone. It could be anything we wanted. Oh boy, I'd have to think about that a little before coming up with something.

Next I had math. I hated that class. I was never really good at it. My mom on the other hand was really good at math. Well, she was good at everything, and always got A's in high school, but she actually liked math. I didn't. Our teacher Mrs. Sibben, a fat, bitch who always had French manicured toenails (gag!) made math such a pain in the ass that each semester at least half of her class would attempt to drop her class. I did everything in my power to try to convince my counselor that I should be in a different math class. I'm a sophomore in pre-calc, one of the only three that are in pre-calc in our whole grade. This kinda scared me and also the fact that I would have to stare at Sibben's French manicured toenails everyday. This thought made me want to puke. Thankfully I got through the class without doing so although I left with four weeks worth of homework with a dateline of 4 days from today. It was near impossible.

I barely made it to third period for I felt like I was going to faint. I had no idea why. As soon as I stepped out of Mrs. Sibben's room I felt like someone just suddenly dropped a ton of weight on my shoulders. Maybe the devil has effects on you like that. I snickered to myself. It's wrong to say but she kinda looked like the devil too, all red all the time, probably because she weighs around 500 lbs.

Third period, I had science. The whole day I was very excited to get to this class, because Ponyboy was in this class. I hadn't seen their whole gang in nearly 5 days, and it was killing me, I really wanted to get to know them not to mention some of them were quite cute.

I walked into the classroom, and instantly I felt everybody's eyes on me. I managed to look up and nearly died when I noticed that the soc that raped me was in this class. Him and his buddies were fallowing me across the room with their hungry eyes. As sick as I was at this, this was really the first time I noticed a bunch of guys, let alone one guy looking at me like I was gorgeous. This made me feel good. I searched for Pony. He was sitting in the corner reading a book. Just like me, Pony gets put into advanced classes along with socs, so we really don't have anyone to talk to. Suddenly he turned around and his eyes met mine. Then he turned back around and went back to reading. I was kind of offended. I walked up to him and took a seat in the chair next to him.

"Hey Ponyboy"

He looked up and down and up again real quick, his jaw dropped to the ground. "Tara?" he nearly screamed.

I laughed. "Yeah."

He blinked and closed his mouth. "Sorry! I almost didn't recognize you there for a second. You look so....so...different."

I laughed at this. "Yeah I kinda look different without cuts and bruises all over my face."

He dropped the smile on his face and hung his head. "So...how are you?"

My smile faded away. "I'm....better"

He smiled again, put his hand over mine and squeezed. "I'm glad."

His hand was warm. I felt like squeezing it back for a second. But I was afraid he might think I like him or something. Not that I didn't. Just not in that way. I was crazy about someone else...

A/N: So what do you think!??? That is if anybody reads this. It's been so long since I've updated you guys had probably given up on me. Well either way. If you get a chance please review and tell me what you think. I think I've finally gotten the whole thing together, and it can basically take its course. I did notice something tho, in like the one the chapters, I said that Tara has red hair then I said that she has brown hair (just to clarify she has reddish brown hair), also, I got really pissed at myself because if I hadn't have Tara tell the gang that she was raped, and reveal it slowly in the fallowing chapters, it would have been more exciting. Anyways, what's done is done, I'll write the chapters more carefully from now on. So I apologize to anyone who noticed my mistake in the earlier chapters. I'll be more professional from now on, lol. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and don't forget to drop a review before you go. Oh, and I really don't know who to give feedback to for their reviews, because I have totally lost track of that, but I promise to update sooner, oh wait nvm, I just found all the review, hee hee, thanks to;

Skyla13, jack4, Grease Girl, Tourmaline, Banana4422, steves-girl, Two-BitGortez, Hopeless Romantic (as for Tara and Johnny, I dunno, maybe, I'm not sure yet. I gotta think about who Tara's crazy about, keep reviewing.), Tidus'luvr99, LilBratyChild, movielvr,

You guys are great and keep reviewing please!

Special note to Tensleep: Omg, you're hilarious. In all seriousness, I didn't appreciate her calling me an ok writer either. I mean, I know I'm not a top seller novelist, but if I was so bad, people wouldn't read my fics, so there. Thanks so much, I seriously laughed my ass off, about your comments.

As Always,

Tara


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